Friendship and Well-being

A wise old bear once said, "We didn’t realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun.”  (A. A. Milne)

Fifty years ago, in a small community hall overseen by the Sister's of Charity, a group of teenagers were simply having fun making music, dancing and creating bonds that would last a lifetime. Recently, at their 50th reunion, the realization of Pooh's wisdom hit home.

Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s definition of how friendship forms "includes the following criteria: 'Love is a momentary upwelling of three tightly interwoven events: 

  • First, a sharing of one or more positive emotions between you and another; 
  • second, a synchrony between your and the other person’s biochemistry and behaviors; and 
  • third, a reflected motive to invest in each other’s well-being that brings mutual care.' 
What is then created, when this criteria is met, is a moment of love. And when one finds another that they are able to share several such moments, bonds are created, loyalty is developed and enduring relationships created." (Fredrickson-Pursuit of Happiness)

She goes on to explain that when we have enduring relationships, no matter how often we are in face-to-face contact, the positivity of those relationships sustains us. In other words, friends who have shared our lives, who love us as we are, bless us with positivity that fuels our well-being. 

Treasure the relationships that have lasted through time and space. Understand that being a friend is not about physical proximity, but it is about a spiritual connection that goes beyond the physical and temporal planes. Give thanks and show gratitude for these relationships because they help us in more ways than we will ever know.



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