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Showing posts with the label friends

Friendship and Well-being

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A wise old bear once said, " We didn’t realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun. ”  (A. A. Milne) Fifty years ago, in a small community hall overseen by the Sister's of Charity, a group of teenagers were simply having fun making music, dancing and creating bonds that would last a lifetime. Recently, at their 50th reunion, the realization of Pooh's wisdom hit home. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s definition of how friendship forms " includes the following criteria: 'Love is a momentary upwelling of three tightly interwoven events:  First, a sharing of one or more positive emotions between you and another;  second, a synchrony between your and the other person’s biochemistry and behaviors; and  third, a reflected motive to invest in each other’s well-being that brings mutual care.'  What is then created, when this criteria is met, is a moment of love. And when one finds another that they are able to share several such moments, bo...

Staying Positive in a Negative World

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A colleague asked me this week how I stayed so positive - wasn't I upset by the happenings around the world?  I stood looking at her for a minute, collecting my thoughts.  Of course, I'm upset about the horrors of this past week, month, year!  The pain I feel for my brothers and sisters around the world is palpable. But, if I succumb to the pain, how can I do the work I need to do?  So, I stay positive. How? First, I limit my access to the news media (no TV, no cable) .  I know what's going on in the world.  I read the headlines. (BBC is my go-to news source because I have found it gives a much less biased view of news than other agencies.) I don't need to sit in front of a television screen 24/7 to know that the world has serious issues.  I don't need to be terrorized in my own home by newscasters who sensationalize every event and promote an aura of despair, distrust, hate and apocalyptic claptrap. Second, I focus on what I can do to make t...